Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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