Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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