my phone cant type all the emotion im having
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize