I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
