Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
No subtext here. People are naked.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
