I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
