every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
