I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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