I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
im six kinds of drunk right now
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We are all done wearing pants today
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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