And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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