I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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