There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize