I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
