Your mouth is God's brothel.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize