my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
