I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
