The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
