i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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