I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
