Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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