Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
