either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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