no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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