I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
