I want to walk on stilts...naked
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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