Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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