What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
