Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
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it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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