I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
