Where did you get a picture of my penis
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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