Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
