Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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