I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
