:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
