Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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