So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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