when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
What drink are we having for lunch?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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