and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
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