so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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