i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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