Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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