my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
