So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
