dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Sorry about my life...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
