dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
