we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
