Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
