Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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