i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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