So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
