if i can run in heels then i can drive
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
