If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
