She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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