the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
