I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
