i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
