Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
