one two three fourrrrnication!
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
