Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He shit in the fireplace
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
