After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
