We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
