I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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