when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
