I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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