Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
